Cartography of the Unseen World

I woke up this morning thinking two things.  

1. I really should start working on an artist’s statement for “I Am Usha.”

2. I am at an age where many people have reached the top of their field.

And then, as I so often like to do, I completely deconstructed both of those concepts until I was staring at scattered piles of  assumptions, ready to be reassembled into something that resonates with my frequencies.

Let’s start with number 2.  What an interesting phrase.  Is the field on a hill?  Or has the person who has reached the top, like Yertle the Turtle, merely piled the other less fortunate, less ambitious, and less opportunistic into a mountain onto which to climb?  The mere concept of a winner relies on the existence of a loser, or many losers.  The more losers, the higher the winner rises.  

Some people will tell you this is the way of the world.  Others will insist it is human nature.  And still others will look toward nature itself as a justification for the competition model of human behavior… law of the jungle, survival of the fittest.  One can look at world history and into nature to find a certain logic to this theory and stop looking further.  This is a narrow search, the place where many have chosen to remain, having found the answer they were seeking.   

Or… one can widen the search.  One can search for and discover the history and the anthropology and the systems that wait patiently, just outside of the mainstream.  There are answers that you will never find unless you ask more questions.  There are voices you can’t hear unless you get very very quiet.  You have to be listening for something you’ve never heard before, something which at first might sound like a hallucination, or look like a mirage.  The unfamiliar always enters this way, always finding a way in.  Let your senses adjust and stay with it.  This is how we widen the search.

I have spent my life wandering through fields.  I can often be found on the edges, where the well trodden paths mark the way, reminding me I’m not the only one wandering.  I look down and see the coyote track, the deer track and the evidence of a system in flux, always striking a balance.  I have wandered through many fields, some lush with life and some deadened with chemicals and overuse.  Some in dormancy and some in their prime.  Witnessing the nature of fields from the ground has taught me many things, things I never would have understood if I insisted on climbing to a pinnacle.  

“I Am Usha” is the Cartography of the Unseen World, always witnessed in fleeting glimpses, wandering low along the edges.  Every piece of art is created as a marker along a path, a path that runs parallel to the deer paths on the edges of the fields, in a world where the human eye does not adjust to the wavelengths of light.  One sees with the heart, discovering a new form of communication within the body that has been patiently waiting to be awoken.  When I am creating from this place, a direct line from my heart to my hand guides me.  With great trust and an even greater love for the process, I make art.  I leave my own prints in the soil of consciousness, not to rise or fall in the drama of the world, but to mark my path in this parallel place.  

“Usha” is no more than a name, my name in my Ancestors’ language.  It is simply “Dawn.”  A name for transition, for the darkest time at the moment before light.  In this strange moment of flux, one sees with the heart what the eyes cannot decipher.  After my own personal transition from grief and detachment to acceptance and forgiveness, I have the strength and confidence to claim my name.  I claim it as my own, if only to offer it as my gift, a Gift of a Map for the Travelers to Come. 

Video Stills from "Skeleton Tree Dance" Jan 2017

Visionary Painting

Visionary Painting is a very broad term that many people claim.  In my opinion they are all valid but they are all not the same.
I am not borrowing other's philosophies that speak to me and making illustrative collages with known images in order to communicate my cause.  This is fine, it is a form of communication and it can spread ideas. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just not what I do.
I am not envisioning an ideal world and painting it.  This is a valid process and can stimulate awareness and even change, but... not what I do.
I am not looking at the world outside of me and painting my vision of it, art like this can be very beautiful and stirring, but it's not what I do.

What I do is something different.  I am not the only one, but I think we're not very mass-market popular.  We are not commerce driven because this work isn't pretty and it's a hard sell.  We are not academic because we rely on our intuition and mysterious processes much more than our intellect.   We sometimes don't mirror the accepted academic stance on issues, we sometimes do. Sometimes I have no idea where we fit, but I know it when I see it.  We do our work in private, making sense of the world by listening to the muse of the spirit world giving us messages that are difficult to decipher. We "put them out there" when we deem them ready.  I have had to remind myself over and over again not to comprimise this, even if I never get recognition, attention or money for what I paint.  When I remember that, I am rewarded greatly by the process itself.   

So, why share it at all?  I guess I just get pretty excited about it.  I feel like a consciousness talks to me when I'm painting and I get very enthusiastic about that.   It feels like a wider and more expansive consciousness that I have in other areas of life.  So it's sometimes hard to understand completely, especially when I first hear it.  It's a bit like dreaming while awake.  I want others to look and maybe see it, maybe not.  At this point 90% or more  of you may be dismissing me as delusional, flaky or both.  But I'm ok, I function as well as most.  I am not convinced my thoughts are always clear or realistic, but they are not any more delusional that anyone elses belief systems.  (in my humble opinion)

I actually feel these "conversations" help me function better.  But only when I keep them balanced wth the rest of my existence.

When I was a very young child I dreamt I was on a boat, heading to a big destination with my family.    I think we were moving our residence.  During the trip a psychotic doctor was turning everyone into skeletons.  I hid and was able to escape, but I was terrified.  The rest of my family were skeletons.  I was torn between trying to save them and staying hidden.  I had no idea how to save them.   I didn't want to be a skeleton.  I woke up with the dilemma unresolved, a fearful wakening in the middle of the night.  I will never forget it.  

This symbolism is the subject of this painting and of a solo show I have scheduled for a year from now.  (The show is at UW-Fox Valley in Menasha, WI)  I have decided to name the show "Usha" after my imaginary alter-ego I developed when I learned my Hindi name.  

Usha is a character who resolves issues for me through stories.  They are stories I have never shared publicly, but they mean a great deal to me.  Literary World-wise they are not ready, well-written or completely resolved enough to publish, in my opinion.  But they really help me think...

This particular painting finds water and oil interacting.  The skeleton is from my dream, and my skeleton drips oils from all it's limbs.  I don't yet know where Usha fits into this, but I know she will.  She is coming out of the many layers, like the dresses I make.  She is hiding behind the ancestors, she is flowing in the water.  She wants to save the skeletons but she is afraid.  It just takes time.  For now there is water and it runs through the skeletons mouth, trying to bring it back to life, but it seeps through and waters the wheels of a great and powerful machinery.  The thing is that the water never stops flowing, even after the machines have stopped.

The ancestors keep watch.  They are witnesses to it all, but they cannot be heard by most.  What is it they want to say?  Can we listen?

I believe Usha will appear and she will help me once again understand my role.  It might be in a dream.  It might be a story that comes to me.  It might be the next time I am painting this.  I hope I have the answer soon, because I feel helpless and afraid sometimes, not knowing how to act and not react to the times and events we are all living through. 

I feel that I know more than I knew before I had the vision, but I certainly don't have any answers.  Just feelings, images and more questions.

Sentient Speech

Today it occurs to me that the language of the Sentient Beings has to be poetry

Work in Progress:  "Chances of Drowning"

But I argue, "I'm not a poet."  

Well, I'm not a good one.

I don't know what to do.

"A Pigeon Post."

Just sit back

and listen

In progress: "A Hurricane Steed."

So I try it.

And I think, "Yes!  That's how they come to me!"

All I have to do is let the words come to me, just like the pictures.

"Secret Substitute Smell"

You're Still Talking

"City Jackal"

So I sit back.

Two words, that's all.

Just two words.

Over and over.

In Progress: "Fare Well"

Thank You

Thank You

Thank You

From Dreaming to Dancing

More Jackal... she is Dancing Jackal, after a long journey via magic arrow.   
During the long and reckless journey she is pierced by the arrow
 and has to land in a canyon where there is no escape. 
Dancing Jackal does not have the patience and reserve that Dreaming Jackal has, 
but she shines like the moon.

       

          While trapped in the canyon, with only a few hours of sunlight, 
           Dreaming Jackal noticed the light of the moon during the dark night, 
and became greedy for more.
This makes Dreaming Jackal a servant of the moon.

      

She tried to jump through the moon, but the moon jumped through her.

After the moon jumped through Jackal she glowed all night and hid in a cave all day.
Now she is  trapped in darkness all day long.

Having suffered many days in darkness Jackal became frustrated with the the silence,
and learned to play the rhythms of the moon.

I hope you are enjoying the story of the Sentient Beings.  This story has no beginning and no end, so you can join in at anytime.

These are drawings from my sketchbook; some will be made available as prints on Society6 

at Dawn Patel Art: http://society6.com/dawnpatel

You can also follow the story of Jackal on facebook or Instagram, where I post as I go along.

Sentient Beings: The Introvert

The Sentient Beings Sketchbook

At the side of my bed I have a little sketchbook I have titled "Sentient Beings."  The characters that come to me are from another world.  Some might call it the imagination, and some might call it another dimension.  I haven't named it.  But the beings are named "sentient" because I believe every living thing possesses a sentience that we as human beings are too quick to dismiss.

One of hundreds of my quick sketches of Sentient Beings

I believe there is a quality in all things, called sentience, an ability to experience sensations.  This is an argument for an approach to life in which all things require respect and care.

The Introvert.  He is the first Sentient Being I am developing into a character, using paintings and stories. 

So, I have decided to treat my own Sentient Beings with the care and respect they deserve by letting them develop into characters and be a part of a story.  I'm letting them lead.  I'm starting with one character and letting the story develop in its own.  The first character is The Introvert.

The Introvert travels between dimensions in a small world of his own, but it is full of treasures.

The Introvert is very self contained, and therefore able to travel easily between worlds.  He carries with him a rich existence, but is often tempted to stay there, in his little self contained world, because he has everything he needs.  Almost.

The Introvert is Duckling

When he first ventures from his safe little world of his imagination, he lands in a world with lots of water.  And he is Duckling.  He has bright orange galoshes and tiny wings.  His galoshes give him courage and his wings, although small and unformed, give him hope.  With this he ventures out, slowly....

Stay tuned.  We can find out what happens together.

What's in a Hand?

Lately I've been pushing myself to focus.  I love to paint, of that I am sure.  But in the process of establishing a career for myself as an artist I have to also think practically,  and focusing both the style and the content of my work is necessary.

What I love most about the creative process is starting with the unknown.

As I work through the process of finding a focus to my work in this moment I have several things to think about: materials, markmaking and style, palette and content.  The problem with my love for image making is that I love creating in many styles, many palettes and a full range of materials.  Content, for me, is an easier place to start.

Certain symbols show up over and over again.  I have spent years depicting hands.

I know I can count on nature,  animals, plants, and human figures (in particular eyes, hearts and HANDS) to provide me with plenty of symbolic meaning.  So much so that each one deserves its own thesis.  Let's take Hands....

If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush... what about a soul?

I can't take any credit here.  The hand is one of the most commonly symbolized parts of the human body.  According to Aristotle, the hand is the "tool of tools.  It can communicate more concisely and definitely more universally than our voice ever could.   Throughout the world hands hold meanings, both specific and general:  Hamsa hand, Milagro hand, Helping hand, Hand of power, Eye in Hand... a more universal and powerful symbol is hard to find.

Hands heal, they also carry, point, grip, release, shelter, wave, gesture and punch.  They can offer assistance and they can do great damage.  In my own musings over humanity and the natural world I often see the hand as a symbol of technology, the human impact on the natural world.  It is a part of nature that has severed itself from its source.  What good is a hand is severed from its body?  What good are we when severed from nature?  These questions present themselves as I work, and I work to understand the answers.

By working with a symbol over and over again I develop my own personal encyclopedia of meanings.

Despite its frequent use in art and culture, I choose the human hand as an important symbol in my work.  I know I will return to it again and again and it will continue to evolve in my visual vocabulary, because I now have a very personal relationship with the symbol and its meaning.  

What's in a hand?  A Universe of meaning.

All paintings and painted stones are available at Dawn Patel Art on etsy.  Prints and printed merchandise available at Dawn Patel Art on Society6.

A year of (not) doing yoga

The longer version of this title is "What I have learned from my year of not doing yoga."  I'm not encouraging anyone to give up their yoga practice.  Read on...

Stretch your body and you stretch your mind.  As Without, so Within.

Two winters ago I had a daily yoga practice.  The stars had aligned, and I found a studio I felt so at home in I HAD to drag myself, through snow, ice and bleary eyed mornings, to an hour and a half of daily practice.  It started out a little forced; it ended up being my daily bliss.

During that winter of practice I experienced profound changes, as many do.  In a nutshell,  I moved beyond the physical benefits of a daily yoga practice into the place where I began to change within.   The most radical change was the experience of witnessing my thoughts without judging them.  I witnessed my body struggle awkwardly into poses, (and sometimes stumble)  without being hard on myself for falling short. I learned I could do the same with my thoughts.  When we judge ourselves we naturally turn around and judge others.  In other words if you are harshly judging others (a stranger on the street, a politician, a movie star.. judgement is judgement)  you'd better be sure you are doing it to yourself.  And neither is necessary.  Let it go, and just be.  You'll have so much more energy to apply to your poses, balance to keep you centered, and calm to stay with it.  This is what yoga teaches you about life.

When I was practicing yoga daily I had the opportunity to witness my thoughts passing, and slowly, through trial and error, learn to see them without judgement.  Learning to hold a thought before me and see it objectively, not excusing, explaining,  nor condemning, was an incredible revelation.  I had never considered the possibility of such calm in the face of the storm of my irrational, judgmental, and very busy mind.

Once you see your thought and DON'T judge it, you CAN let it go.

Then life got in the way.  I moved, I started working ALL the time and slowly my yoga practice went from daily to weekly to sporadic... and lately, rare.  I've been kicking myself about it a bit.  I miss the physical benefits.  I plot and plan to start again.

Recently, while struggling with my issues of the day, I witnessed my mind move through judgement of others to reflection of self to release in a relatively short time.
I was having a bad day in the city.  I'm not really a city person, I love my life in the woods where I can turn to the beauty of nature for solace at the drop of a hat.  But recently I have been called to the city and have been living in Chicago.  A few weeks ago I woke up in a sour mood and headed out to do some errands.  Everyone I looked at I judged.  I was irritated with people the minute I set eyes upon them.  It wasn't my shining moment of lovingkindness.  But something happened that turned eveything around.  I listened to my thoughts and I neither believed them, nor judged them.   Suddenly I realized I've been doing this all along.  I'm the same person I was before a year of practicing yoga, I can have the negative thoughts, I judge people, and I can be very hard on myself.  But I let it go.  It's an ongoing practice, and I learned it during yoga.

Looking at thoughts as something outside of yourself can lead to startling change.

One important lesson on the mat is to be where you are.  Yoga isn't about striving to reach a pose that someone else can do, it's doing a pose the way you are able to.  You take it to the edge of your capabilities, and maybe tomorrow you'll go further.  Or maybe you'll have a set back.  And then you'll be there.  Applying these lessons to my life has carried the practice further, even though the number of times I've unrolled my yoga mat this year is, well... let's just say I wouldn't lose count.  Maybe the time is coming when I start it up again.  Maybe...

And now... applying these lessons to the struggles this new chapter in my life, as a working artist.

***All of the artwork in this post is for sale as miniature originals, beginning at $18, in my etsy shop

The Stone Scone

Ceci n'est pas une Scone

I have to start with this... if you want to make a stone scone, the first thing that has to happen is that the universe has to align to bring you a perfectly formed rock in the shape of a scone.  I guess you can go looking, but in my experience this is not always the way... So, perhaps this is more of a step by step tutorial to living life, rather than painting a Stone Scone.  Because none of this would have happened if not for....

When my friend mentioned a fundraiser for the non-profit bakery, Blue Sky Bakery, I immediately thought a Stone Scone would be perfect.

A few weeks ago I was catching up with an old friend from Washburn who just so happened to be in Chicago when I just so happened to be in Chicago on the night of the US debut for the founder of Free Art Friday, My Dog Sighs, who just so happened to be in Chicago.  Ironically My Dog Sighs (from England) is one of my art heros, and I had plans to be in England this fall. Included in my plans, of course,  was a Free Art Friday Art scavenger hunt.  My plans changed and I ended up in Chicago instead, and so did My Dog Sighs and so did my friend George and that is how this all begins.

If at first you don't succeed....  I call this the Chicken Pox Scone.  

So my friend George agrees to meet me for the art opening at Vertical Gallery in Ukraine Village for a fun night of whiskey, art, scavenger hunting, and catching up on many years.  I met his girlfriend Lisa, an amazing woman who runs a non-profit Bakery that does job training for at-risk youth in Chicago.  Check it out!

Later in the evening I discovered she was having a fundraiser so I jumped on the chance to donate.  It wasn't long before I, a lover of puns, thought of the Stone Scone.

When at first you don't succeed, try try again.
I am now ditcing the more graphic, stylized approached for a layered painting.

Here's why I say this is more about living life than how to make a stone scone... I had ordered a box of perfectly smooth large beach stones for my painted rocks project.  In this box of otherwise round and oval smooth surfaced stones was one weird lumpy freak.  A Scone!  When I got home and saw this I knew we were meant to be.  This little guy would be the focus of my dedication and frustration for hours.  A relationship set in stone.

My first few attempts were ridiculous.  To spare you the details, lets just say this: the puke stone, the chicken pox stone and the alien stone all were covered with new layers of paint.  I ditched my idea to make this stone in my characteristic stylized technique of graphic shapes and miniature details and went back in the recesses of my mind to art school and the layered painting....

Layers of orangey-yellow and cream, working from dark to light, I created the  surface I was looking for,
 a lightly toasted blueberry scone!

Here's a link to the event: http://chicagobeginnings.bpt.me  If you feel the need to bid on the stone scone, or drink great beer and eat delicious food and donate to a good cause, be there!

And if you see me walking down the street looking intently at the ground, I may be looking for another perfectly weird misfit stone, for my next project.

Close... Still needed a little color adjustment, and more blueberries.

Finished!  After another layer of gloss medium with Violet to bring back some of the
Blueberries I had covered up, I am calling it done... no... Well Done!
Now to get to Blue Sky Bakery, all this has made me hungry for a real scone.

But more likely I'll be looking straight ahead, all around and up to the sky, because you can never predict from where the next inspiration will come.

For the curious:

My Dog Sighs

Vertical Gallery

A fun video about Free Art Friday
My free art project!!!

Planting Seeds and Gathering Fruit

Like so many of us, I’ve been thinking a lot these days about Presence.  That in itself seems to be a contradiction.  We cannot be present in the moment and lost in thought.  But here I am, day after day, contemplating the nature of my mind, it’s insistence on planning, goal setting, list making and evaluating.  

Perhaps it’s not a contradiction at all, but rather a constant shifting.  In order to live in the world, carve out a life for oneself, and reap the rewards of our hard work, we must set goals, plan, and evaluate our progress from time to time.  In order to be present in the here and now we must let all of that go and just BE.  Neither can exist without the other in this life and body we’ve been given.  New discovery, creativity and the pure joy of PLAY cannot be reached without letting go of our busy minds.  Survival, on the other hand, requires thought and planning, and an active mind is required.

What I’ve learned recently, and it’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to learn, is this:  It’s not so much what I PLAN that matters, as it is what I PLANT.  All the planning in the world does not make things happen, and even with diligent follow through and work, your plans are not guaranteed to produce the intended results.  It’s all an act of faith, in a sense, but it doesn’t have to be blind faith.  Presence, that is, the practice of being in the here and now and therefore aware of and receptive to, the signs and signals, gives us vision into the darkness of the future, as well as acceptance of the past.

A few days before my opening reception at Lost Moth Gallery in Egg Harbor.

This is what I have learned from painting, and applied to life.  What I am experiencing at this point is a time of Reaping.  Seeds I planted years ago are beginning to sprout, ripen and fall from the tree.  At a time when I “planned” to go without many luxuries and even some of the basics, in order to live my dream of an artist’s life, I find my world overflowing with abundance.  Love, friendships, support, entertainment, opportunities for learning and growth surprise me daily.  And yes, I’m even selling art.

Live music is abundant, and often the price of a tip jar donation, in Door County.
Elliot Gottleman and Nick Hoover perform at the Greco Gallery open house in Sturgeon Bay.

The seeds that have gestated, taken root, sprouted and flourished all started as ideas.  Often the idea would come to me on a walk, a road trip, a conversation with a loved one, or a dream.  They were ideas that demanded to be given life, despite the fact most appeared to be impulsive whims.  A children’s book, a sketchbook full of masks, an illustrated journal with a cartoon Buddha-like character as it’s narrator… to name a few.  A visual language developed over years of painting, layering techniques learned through trial and error, and drawing skills that grew out of hours of studying so many dog eared art and nature books.  Like my “Mystery Stone” project, I worked on each of these ideas with a compulsive commitment of time and labor, despite the lack of income, interest or even potential for success.  I myself questioned whether anything would come of these projects, I just knew that they had to be given life.  Each was a seed that beckoned a laborious planting and lots and lots of watering and weeding.  I was known among friends and family for my “crazy ideas.”  

One of my many sketchbooks from the 90's.

A parallel lesson has been learned about my life.  I closed the doors to my store nine months ago and my partner and I walked away from the plans to open a new shop this spring in exchange for working at home, on a shoestring, with the hopes that our art could stand on its own in the world and support a simple lifestyle.  Oftentimes I felt the familiar fears arise, that my goals were too shallow, that my life would feel empty.  That no one would be interested in my idiosyncratic ideas and stories. That my paintings are too strange, and definitely not in fashion.  That this somewhat hermetic lifestyle would eventually cease to fulfill my basic human needs.  But I decided to just wait.  And see.  And be.

Stone Painting and Dog Entertaining go hand in hand.

Now, in the middle of this summer of change, here I am in a lush green jungle of growth.  I have supportive friends, family and fans of my work who are cheering me on, purchasing art and engaging me in meaningful conversation.  Today, as I contentedly paint stones at my table, pet the dogs and listen to some bluegrass, I pause to just BE, and check in,  I DO sense something missing.  That old feeling of anxiety that plagued me for so many years, anxiety over my worth, the future, my place in the world… it seems to have snuck out the door when I was not paying attention.  

Or was I?

Dad's Cherry Tree planted in the summer of 2011.  Door County, WI.

The Fun Begins!

This one is just in!  #57 in Hudson Wisconsin.

              

 The Mystery Stone Project has launched, and it all started with these humble rocks!

Here's Dale at Sturgeon Bay Sand and Gravel.  If this project inspires you to paint a large quantity  of rocks check out your local quarry or gravel pit.  We bought 5 pounds of washed landscaping stones for 2 dollars!  Considering this project is COMPLETEY FREE to all participants, a great deal on stones is vital.
Harvesting stones from public places is often illegal, so check the laws, and consider a trip to the gravel pit.

In my last post "The Magical Mystery Stones" I wrote about the ideas and thoughts behind the project.  Now that the Mystery Stones have launched I have things to say about the REAL EXPERIENCE of starting and witnessing the progress of a free and public art venture.  I thought it would be fun, but already I am realizing that I had no idea how magical and rewarding this kind of interactive art experience can be.

The photographic adventures of the stone "releasers" are another art form in themselves!

Street Art finds its' niche.

Seeing the photos of released stones thrills me, my little creations are out in the world.  And people are excited to find
them, and the experience of releasing stones seems to bring out the kid in all of us... it is such a pure form of PLAY.

I have already heard back from a handful of "finders" whose enthusiasm seems evident in their facebook posts.  I feel a certain amount of awe that these people have found a stone, looked up the website address scratched into the back of the stone and followed the links to the Facebook and instagram pages where they are able to report the stone number and location of their find.  I had no idea what to expect for when I started painting little stones, but the fact that less than two days into it I am connecting people with these little one of a kind characters that I individually painted is thrilling.  I feel like I'm a kid again, and I'm loving it.

FOUND!!! The finder of this stone found it on facebook and says she's planning to bring it along on a trip to the UP.

FOUND!!!!  These finders reported back less than a few hours after we left it in a Chicago park... in the rain!

FOUND!!!  Left in a parking garage in downtown Chicago, this one was reported the next day.
 I am certain that I will never tire of hearing back from "finders," the excitement is contagious!

  

Some of the stones are small and uneven, jagged... not perfect by any standards.
I think these are the ones I'm cheering on the most, if they keep re-appearing online in new locations
it will refresh my love of the underdog every time!


Please keep up with the project on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brilliantstranger
and on Instagram: http://instagram.com/mysterystones